First off, happy Friday! You made it through the week! Almost. I'm in my third week at University and the panic is starting to bubble. I'm sure for many of you the Fresher's Flu has kicked in, I know that I can't sit in a class without at least 15 people coughing or sneezing. Oh ALL the germs! Luckily, I've saved myself from it. Probably because I've barely been "out out". Bad Fresher, I know! But I can't go out. I'm too busy FREAKING THE FUCK OUT!
One girl in my seminar asked the lecturer if it was normal to cry so early on. "Yes" was the answer. Thank God! Last night I cried, ate tons of chocolate, ignored all responsibilities and watched makeup tutorials. There's no stress in watching Shaaanxo talking about how much she loves lipsticks. But there is stress in trying to break down an essay you know nothing about.
At school, three years ago, the information and main points of an essay were right there in a textbook. At college all we had to write about was what we did. "I walked across the stage and folded by arms. This portrayed my moody attitude". Simple. Now, it's "Here's an essay title. Give me answers".
Oh buggar.
I tried. I read loads of articles and ebooks online that were suggested, I followed up some of the references (let's not talk about Harvard Referencing JUST yet), and got NOTHING! I was writing down quotes which probably aren't even valid for my essay, I forgot to make a note of the reference of half of what I wrote down and then I stopped. I looked at my laptop and thought;
"I have no idea what I'm doing"
I feel like I am really out of my depths and already failing. I don't understand how so many people can do this uni thing and be okay. School did not prepare me for this. School failed to prepare me for a lot of things, but you'd think they would teach you how to write and study for University considering the amount of pressure they put on kids to actually go to uni! How to find Pi isn't going to help me find examples of Symbolic Power in journalism is it?? NO!
I am also ignoring the fact that I have 2 other essays to do and a heap of reading. Because reading the given texts is actually really important apparently.
I wish this was an advice post. I really do. It is more of a "If you are struggling and freaking out, you are definitely not alone" post.
Good luck for your future essay endeavours.
I am going to pray for a miracle.
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