It is officially 20 days before I turn 23.
Fuck.
Remember when we were 12 and people in their 20's had their life together and seemed...adult? How did they do that? At what age are we meant to feel like adults?
Yes, I moved out five years ago and have payed bills, council tax, had relationships, moved cities but I still don't feel like an adult. I am still at uni and I am still asking myself-what do I want to be when I grow up?
I see folk from school doing really well in life. Like-they're adulting. They have graduated, got their dream grad job, relationship and just seem to have their shit together. Last week I woke up with a killer hangover, my bed covered in McDonalds and went to work in the same clothes I went to sleep in.
I suppose everyone does things at different paces. That's what I keep telling myself. Different paths have been taken and I don't really regret anything. So are you an adult when you get a "proper job" and feel successful? As I turn 23, I am starting to consider my 'future' and the pressure that I am putting on myself. For starters, any job is a proper job. Whether it be nursing, waitressing or journalism. Yet, I feel that society pushes women to be a "Girl Boss"-which is great for some, I'd love to make my own rules; but it is another social pressure that women have to compete with. To be the next big thing-to have your own business and to be successful AKA raking in the monies with that white marble kitchen, is what people are striving for and it feels-for me-that is what people want to see us do.
But after listening to a thoughtful podcast with Emma Gannon and Will Young, I started questioning my own idea of success.
I have always been career focused-even if I haven't a fuck what I want to do-I know I want to do well in it. But does that necessarily mean a high income? It use to.
Now, job satisfaction for me would mean making a difference. Knowing I can do something well and having the boss (whoever that may be) feel confident in me and my what-ever-it-will-be job role.
Doing something I enjoy and want to get out of bed for is the ultimate goal. As long as I can pay my rent and bills, I'd be happy with that. But would I feel like an adult then? Or is this notion of "feeling adult" just a con? Is it something engrained to our minds that we must have a job, a house, a family a job that we hate just to pay for a life we think we should want? Because if people are in jobs and home owners, it makes the country have a better reputation and the government and society keep pushing everyone to settle as adults and accept the lifestyle they are given. What if "being an adult" isn't just having the "proper job" or a high income or the ability to buy a 3 piece suite. What if being an adult is simply being independent and making choices at our own adult pace? By Scottish law, by 16 we are classed as adults. By 16 we are now allowed to vote and move out. By 16 we are believed to be old enough to make adult decisions.
Just because some people haven't figured out what route they want to take next, doesn't mean they're not an adult. It means they're an adult who is still deciding what to do.
If we force ourselves to do things just because we 'feel like we should' we might be missing out on an opportunity to have the best life we could have an experience something new. We could be sacrificing a dream or another future that might be better than that marble kitchen or big pay cheque. Maybe being an adult is making decisions in a realistic (sometimes drunk), mature, manner. Owning our lives and taking control. I might not know how to work the iron but that doesn't make me any less of an adult does it? I just make the adult decision to by clothes that don't need ironing. Today it was my decision to write this before I go to work, yesterday I made the decision to start reading up for uni and tomorrow I will choose when to get up. Am I an adult yet?
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